Found

Are we hunters or are we runners? Are we chasing the White Whale or is it chasing us?

I have not seen him again, but I can feel something staring at me. Something moves its infinite gaze on me and I am trapped, held down and viewed with a cosmic microscope that only seems to magnify the futility of my mission.

After the appearance of Hunor, a servant of the Whale, we went on the run. We stopped updating, trying to hide our location, hide our presence, but we knew this would not work for long.

Yesterday, he appeared again to us. He attacked us. He injured us.

He hurt her. He laughed as he did. He laughed.

She is still alive. I brought her to a hospital - the stab wound could become infected if not treated. She needs to get better.

He laughed while he stabbed her.

Are we hunters or are we runners? Are chasing it or is it chasing us?

We were running, but it wasn't enough.

He laughed.

I am in the place you found us, Hunor. I am in the place where you laughed. Come find me. Come and fight. I will not run.

Come and fight.

I will not run.

So, a few days ago, we stopped at a gas station. We didn't need that much - just to fill up the tank and to get some snacks, maybe some music to keep us awake during the long nights of driving.


I asked Ahab to get the snacks and pick whatever music he wanted in the convenience store, while I filled up the tank (it is my car, after all). So I was alone when I saw him.


He was tall, six feet at least, with curly blond hair pulled back into a pony tail. He had this grin on him that made me uneasy.


He walked towards me and said, "Have you heard the tale of Nimrod?"


"I'm sorry?" I said. I didn't think he was talking to me at first.


"Nimrod the King," he said. "Nimrod the Hunter. Son of Cush, grandson of Noah, king of Shinar. Have you heard the tale of Nimrod?"


"I think your mistaking me for someone else," I said.


"The tale goes that Nimrod opposed God's power," the man said. "He wished to show how he was a greater god than God. So he commanded his followers to build a great tower, a tower that would reach the heavens. Needless to say, God took affront to this and knocked the tower down." He stepped forward, moving quicker than I expected.

"Please," I said, "I don't have any money."


"Nimrod survived though," the man said, "and fled to rule over other countries, where he still opposed God's power. They say his sons became the Huns and the Magyars, hunters and warriors. They say that Nimrod grew large and was a giant of the earth. They say he grew so powerful that God decided death was too good for him - that God's wrath would instead be to remove his name and his face, so that none would know him to be Nimrod and he would forever be alone."


I backed away, no certain that this wasn't just a crazy person or mugger. His eyes looked wild and I could see the scars on his face, probably from numerous fights.


I was lucky that Ahab saw us at this point. He rushed out of the convenience store and ran towards the man, intent on tackling him.


The man left and moved faster than I could see, slipping away before Ahab could touch him, leaving Ahab sprawling on the ground.


The man appeared on my left and said, "Some hunter you are! You wish to hunt the mighty Nimrod? You wish to find him and capture him and kill him, as if he was some animal?" He laughed. "Nimrod is more than you will ever be or know. And we are his sons."


He stepped backward and a hole appeared behind him, a hole in the fabric of the universe. I saw a dense thicket of trees with black leaves. "I am Hunor," the man said and stepped backwards into the black forest. "And we will see each other again, Captain Ahab." He smiled and then was gone, like he had never been there at all.


And that's how we met our first proxy.


I think I'm going to throw up.

Hunters

We hunt the white whale.

And now something hunts us.

It was only a matter of time.

More to come.

We're still on the move. I'm...not sure when we'll stop actually. I have to force him sometimes to pull over and get some sleep. He's driven by demons, I know, but he needs to rest at some point.


I'm still getting used to this whole 'that thing you thought could never exist actually does exist.' It's like if you heard stories of aliens all of your life and went "Pshaw, aliens don't exist." And then not only it turned out that aliens do exist, but that they are creepy assholes, too, well...okay, that analogy probably isn't good, but I'm sticking with it. 


Yes, that's right, I'm calling it: the Slender Man is a creepy asshole.

Moving

We are on the move on, on the trail of the white whale. Chr Queequeg is helping me now, searching through news reports and articles, searching for signs, from the blatant to the subtle, searching for the slight touch of the Slender Man.

She has insisted, however, that we each get a good night's rest. She has pretty much emptied her bank account in order to fund our mission, so we do not have to live out of her car. I...appreciate everything that she has done.

There's this song running through my head. It's by this English punk band called the Clash. It's called "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"


    Should I stay or should I go now?
    Should I stay or should I go now?
    If I go there will be trouble
    And if I stay it will be double.
    So come on and let me know.


Because that's what I'm feeling at the moment: I don't know whether I should stay with...well, I guess I have to call him Ahab now, since he was right. I don't know if I should stay with him and help him in any way I can...or if I should just rush back home and try to forget I ever saw the thing I saw and hope I'm not haunted by it.

Can I forgot?

Do I have a choice in the matter?

He's starting calling me "Queequeg" again, by the way. But I know it's not part of a delusion now -- it's just his way to stepping back into a role, hiding behind a wall. And perhaps that's the best thing to do. Erect a wall and hope it's good enough to hide from the Slender Man.

Or, as Ahab wants, go on the offensive. Find these "proxies" that work for it (why would anyone willingly do that, I have no idea), track them, try to find some way to rid the world of it.

It's a goal that is probably impossible. Yet he seems determined to go ahead with it.

So: should I stay or should I go?


I'm a doctor. I got into psychiatry to help people. If I just left him...what help would that do?

Sigh. Stay it is then.

Queeqeg signing out.

Bringing her back

She's talking again. I managed to snap her out of her previous state. I would thank God, if I believe in one.

How did I do it?

Well, I went to the sink and turned on the hot water. When it was so hot that it was steaming, I led Christine in the bathroom and placed her hand under the faucet. She automatically pulled back, like I thought she would. She  still had all of her reflexes.

Then I placed my own hand under the faucet and let the scalding water hit my skin. I suppress the urge to pull my hand away and instead pushed through the pain and left my hand under the flow of water.

After a minute, Christine grabbed my hand and pulled it back for me. Pain for her resulted in automatic reflexes - but pain for me? That pushed through her psyche, that made her pay attention.

All she ever wanted to do was help me and I used that to bring her back.

After that, she started talking, a few words at a time until she just couldn't stop. She asked me so many questions -- questions about what the Slender Man did to my family, what happened when I first saw him, what I knew about him. I admit, it was a little exhausting, but I tried to answer each question.

She knows now. She believes.

And now the question becomes: will she help me?